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I am intentionally taking the long way round.  Life can feel like a whirlwind, with ‘hacks’ posted online, designed to get ‘one-up’ on life, almost without it knowing. This piece is not one of those. No secret recipe to success, or time management tips or how to be incredibly productive by 6am. I recently posted on social media, about my newly created role of Chief Relaxation Officer, CRO). It is too early for a probation review, but a reflection on how this is going feels appropriate. I like the idea of exercise, but my favourite classes at the gym are the yoga classes where you spend a lot of time lying down, still and just breathing. We are encouraged to focus on the in and the out breadth and to stay present whilst we lie in the semi-darkness. Thoughts are gently observed and allowed to pass as we are led and guided through meditations and poses to keep us grounded.  I often take these classes in the afternoon, because I am not a morning person. The to-do list is not done, deadlines are looming and I have an array of other ways to procrastinate. I have clients in the evening, admin and general ‘adulting’ tasks we have to attend to. However, I regularly choose to lay down and be unproductive, to rest and all I have to think about is breathing. It is a little oasis in my day. On my way back from the gym I intentionally take the long way round.  To be present and enjoy the unfolding of spring over being efficient and getting back to work. I walk slowly, or sit down for a moment, taking in the trees, the returning bird song and looking up at the the sky with whatever colour it has chosen for that moment. I cannot claim to have reached inner peace or reached my toes for that matter. Yet, I have paused and given myself permission to simply be. And I feel so much better for it.  To conclude, I am growing into this CRO role and perhaps some seeds of relaxation are beginning to take root. I invite you to consider where you could find those moments, to pause, perhaps look up and to take a breath.

I needed the ‘steps’ so I went for a walk in the rain today.  It was muddy, cold, mulchy, and wet (obviously). Yet, as I walked my frequented route, through the rain and camouflaged into the grass were daffodils, about to burst into life and bright snowdrops, which like me, had braved the elements.  I stopped to take photographs, paused and reflected on the overused analogies of spring, new life and seasons. My brain was flooded with inspirational quotes and optimism. It felt good to be out, breathing in the fresh air. But the reality was grey skies and murky puddles. I was worried about slipping over and my glasses were steaming up. There was no bloom, bird song or the mild warmth of spring. I wanted to hibernate. The weather forecast was rain for the next 10 days. I still believe in the weather forecast, however foolish this may be. As I sit with my own thoughts, and those of clients, the pattern of feeling two opposing truths at the same time repeats itself time and time again. 'I am unable do this, I have tried', may shout loudly and 'I can do this, things will change', may be a whisper. Cognitive dissonance is the official term and confusion is often the feeling. As a counsellor, I cannot guarantee an outcome, wave a magic wand or change the season you find yourself in. At times, I really wish I could. However, I can walk alongside you as you navigate the path you are on, often when you are not sure how you got there and are not sure where you want to go.  You may feel stuck, lost and exhausted. Whilst also wanting to move forward, perhaps unpack the past and explore new ways of thinking and being.  I offer gentleness and compassion, challenge when it's welcome, humour when laughter can heal, and room for tears when they need to fall. If you want to take some steps with me, I invite you, just as you are.

It has taken me a long time to get to the point of creating and publishing this website for my private practice. I bought the domains 9 months ago and planned for this moment for years. I’ve been procrastinating. I was fearful of putting myself out there. I felt vulnerable, exposed and open to criticism. I had so many questions and unknowns. How can I convey professionalism with warmth? Will my words be offensive or be received as inclusive? Will I be misunderstood or judged? Until now, I was not ready to embark on something that felt too big and unscalable. I had to face my fear of rejection and self -doubt. I have not cured it but I have admitted to it and also attended to the voice that says I just need to make the next step. Perhaps you feel that you have been procrastinating in engaging in counselling. Making the call or filling in the form brings what you’ve been carrying closer. It may feel large, scary and daunting. Or something you consider small is niggling away and you wonder if it’s even worth talking about. I did not get this far alone. I was supported, championed and helped. At times being alone is exactly what we need. Other times we can benefit by having someone to listen and to walk alongside us. Maybe you have not been procrastinating after all, just waiting until you are ready, or wanting to be, to talk things through with another. I invite you to my counselling practice. You are welcome to take the seat.