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I needed the ‘steps’ so I went for a walk in the rain today.  It was muddy, cold, mulchy, and wet (obviously). Yet, as I walked my frequented route, through the rain and camouflaged into the grass were daffodils, about to burst into life and bright snowdrops, which like me, had braved the elements.  I stopped to take photographs, paused and reflected on the overused analogies of spring, new life and seasons. My brain was flooded with inspirational quotes and optimism. It felt good to be out, breathing in the fresh air. But the reality was grey skies and murky puddles. I was worried about slipping over and my glasses were steaming up. There was no bloom, bird song or the mild warmth of spring. I wanted to hibernate. The weather forecast was rain for the next 10 days. I still believe in the weather forecast, however foolish this may be. As I sit with my own thoughts, and those of clients, the pattern of feeling two opposing truths at the same time repeats itself time and time again. 'I am unable do this, I have tried', may shout loudly and 'I can do this, things will change', may be a whisper. Cognitive dissonance is the official term and confusion is often the feeling. As a counsellor, I cannot guarantee an outcome, wave a magic wand or change the season you find yourself in. At times, I really wish I could. However, I can walk alongside you as you navigate the path you are on, often when you are not sure how you got there and are not sure where you want to go.  You may feel stuck, lost and exhausted. Whilst also wanting to move forward, perhaps unpack the past and explore new ways of thinking and being.  I offer gentleness and compassion, challenge when it's welcome, humour when laughter can heal, and room for tears when they need to fall. If you want to take some steps with me, I invite you, just as you are.

It has taken me a long time to get to the point of creating and publishing this website for my private practice. I bought the domains 9 months ago and planned for this moment for years. I’ve been procrastinating. I was fearful of putting myself out there. I felt vulnerable, exposed and open to criticism. I had so many questions and unknowns. How can I convey professionalism with warmth? Will my words be offensive or be received as inclusive? Will I be misunderstood or judged? Until now, I was not ready to embark on something that felt too big and unscalable. I had to face my fear of rejection and self -doubt. I have not cured it but I have admitted to it and also attended to the voice that says I just need to make the next step. Perhaps you feel that you have been procrastinating in engaging in counselling. Making the call or filling in the form brings what you’ve been carrying closer. It may feel large, scary and daunting. Or something you consider small is niggling away and you wonder if it’s even worth talking about. I did not get this far alone. I was supported, championed and helped. At times being alone is exactly what we need. Other times we can benefit by having someone to listen and to walk alongside us. Maybe you have not been procrastinating after all, just waiting until you are ready, or wanting to be, to talk things through with another. I invite you to my counselling practice. You are welcome to take the seat.